Sunday, September 07, 2008

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:37:09 GMT

I haven't written on this thing in a long time, so I feel like it's safe to relieve some of my feelings that have been accumulating for a while now.

Where to start?

Ugh, I know that I have friends, and plenty of them, but it just seems like a pain to be around these people that don't make an effort to understand me. Or perhaps it's the other way around and I don't take the effort to understand them? Or maybe I'm just a bundle of contradictions... and we all know that people don't like contradictions. And why focus on negative aspects of people? Why can't we all say, yeah, they have faults, but... just, why not look positively, not so negatively?

I need to punch something or someone... maybe myself.

I'll have more later.... so yeah.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 20:59:17 GMT

uh... funny things are going on... can't wait until prom.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 14:13:56 GMT

Just going about life....
no longer sure about a date for prom...
but still smiling.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 02:08:51 GMT

I got second place for 3-D Art @ the
North Fulton High School Art Competition.....
Go figure.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 18:18:09 GMT

Monday, January 29, 2007

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 11:08:29 GMT

Um...

When you Stop,

Seek,

and Pray,

God is AWESOME
He really can do ANYTHING

Just Believe.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 19:07:24 GMT

Happy New Year!

Hope you start the new year with your loved ones and remember all the great times you had in 2006!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 12:43:54 GMT

>.<;

I'M SO LAME!

WHY DID I HAVE THAT DREAM?!

---edit---

On that note, today is that anniversary of....
nevermind.....

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:18:17 GMT

Okay, I'm commenting on an entry of mine from a couple of months year ago. Italics are old entry, strike throughs are old comments, normal font my recent comments.

"... I don't get easily jealous but I guess that's a lie... I'm leaning more on the jealous side, because I'm not really a nice kid... my friends I trust the most but I distrust them the most as well... I feel really bad when I have to stop and think about whether to or not to tell my best friends about something on my mind... I've learned time and time again not to open my mouth about something in particular unless I'm sure of the consequences. And just to tell you, usually I have NO IDEA what will happen once I say something."

Ha ha, very much been proven that I am a jealous one; there are too many instances to be mentioned, so just trust me on this one. I trust my friends now, a lot, and have learned to open up towards people--so that's not really an issue anymore (unless crush is concerned, but that doesn't count). About opening my big mouth, still needing work on that one...

XD
A year later, and I've changed a lot. Heh, man, I'm so emo! But yeah, I still have a big-mouth problem but only when it comes to fencing--otherwise we are good. Definitely more open towards friends. And jealousy: I can't help it. My friends have a lot for me to be jealous about. tee hee.

"Guys--man, guys... When I start liking a guy, he eventually likes me in return and then yeah, we somehow find out our feelings are mutual... Well, when I last left off my crush (which is still my crush) he was showing signs of some endearment, so that has to mean SOMETHING--I'm just asking 'Does my way really work or Am I just lucky?'..."

Guys are always an issue. Ha, and the guy formerly mentioned is no longer my crush. That's right, I've moved on to greener pastures--at least, I think I have. And to answer my own question, "You're just lucky."

OMG.... You would think a girl learns her lesson after a while.... Ah, well, we only have one life and you do the best with what you have. I guess I'm sort of back where I started where I had two crushes going, one stronger than the other and one more likely to happen than the other. I'm a dreamer, so I really don't know of either is possible--but I can still hope. And really, I'm just lucky--no relational/seducing skills at all whatsoever.

"My friends, I pray to God everyday that their problems would be solved. Michelle, she needs a big one solved, although it would be easy if obliviousness and denial weren't such major problems for mankind. Kate, she needs to get married and have kids--Ha ha, I need to get married and have kids. At least, that's my dream, one of my goals in life."

Um, still a daily prayer.

WTF?! Okay, the Chelles part, I don't quite understand/remember, but I'm just going to go along with it. Kate getting married, I still pray for, just not right now: especially the having kids part. Jibblies! Feh, me getting married--there are only a few people I would instantaneously marry if they asked right now. Other than that, I can wait and pray.

"What does it mean to 'kiss back?' ... To me, two people come face to face and put their lips together: a kiss... I have more romantic notions, but I just don't understand the concept of kissing back or feeling the passion, the fire/electricity in a kiss... how can you tell if someone is a good kisser or not, if you feel 'the spark,' 'the fireworks?' And what's the difference between passionate kissing and making out?"

Mm, yeah, I received a lot of insight on this one, but I'll find my answers the one day I experience this for myself...

Um... still no idea on this one. Just going with the flow here.

"... I have anger issues. I don't often get angry and spout all my rage in one, small shot--I keep it in and let it gradually build up until it reaches its peak. And I have a different gage with different people and a general gage (which is bigger than the others, of course)."

Anger issues aren't going to leave anytime soon. I still have a personal gages and a general gage, but I have learned to make my personal gages a lot bigger so I won't blow up so quickly. Tee hee, good thing, ne?

Personally, I'm think I'm better about this now more than ever. Yeah, I still blow up, but that's under extreme pressure. XD

"... I have the worst relationship with guys. They just don't last... makes me sad because I really like staying friends with the guys (since that's how we started off)... some guys who I can't see past friendship end up liking me, and thanks to my obliviousness and carelessness, I accidentially lead them on and hurt them... I just wish I can prevent those things from happening; however, I like being friends with guys, so it can't really be stopped."

Um, yeah, I'm over this. I just want to be able to maintain relationships... period. Or how about developing one? Grawr, if I weren't such a coward, things would be SO much easier. Maybe I just have to plug my nose and take the plunge because things aren't going to get done any other way.

Ha ha, maybe I should take another plunge? XD
Yeah, but this time I'll definitely be rejected--man, why is he so out of my league?
But getting more guy friends wouldn't be a bad idea--or really, getting along with the guys around would be a good thing to do. ^_^; Sadly, I don't really like some of them, and no matter how I try to relate, it just doesn't work. Getting along with them is water and oil being forced to come together and then setting it on fire. It just doesn't work--no happy business.

Yay for another year!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 11:03:57 GMT

Yes.... The holidays have begun....

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